I’m getting sick and I don’t even know what the fuck happened. I’m losing my voice but I’m going to work, regardless tomorrow. I’m not wasting my vacation on being sick. hah.
So, I guess I’m not going to stay at the Caesar’s Palace because I was too late to book it! But all good, I’m staying at Mandalay Bay instead. =D
So many exciting events happening this month and then some.
Sure. I can do this. Work 4 days, 3 day weekend.
Damn, it may be ONLY sunday but I’m already thinking about the weekend. Meh, I can get through this week. Hah.
I miss sun, warm weather, iced coffee. I’m officially sick of the cold ass weather.
I’m not quite sure how I spent $1000 this month. Probably from Christmas presents. Damn, whatevs. I’m over it.
I am not longer buying designer jeans.
But I am going to purchase one more pair of Ray Ban Sunglasses.
I just bought my first pair of optical persol glasses.
I guess I should cut sbux out of my life…
I guess I’m not eating out/going out tonight.
Sad face. :(
Sometimes I feel incredibly disconnected and uncomfortable with the idea of love. Wait, no, not the idea of love. I admit it, I’m a hopeless romantic but I’m deathly afraid of actually of falling in love. To be completely attached, to immerse myself with someone else, to trust, to care, to love unconditionally. Every time I begin to think that I’m finally letting go of my insecurities, to let my guard down, to allow you become part of me – I somehow find a way to fuck it up. I don’t know what a soul mate is, what is it means to be the “one.” I think it is complete bullshit when people give you the advice, “listen to your heart.” Honestly, what the fuck does that really even mean? Maybe all my life, I was taught the theory of mind over heart. I can only understand and comprehend what my mind is telling me, not my heart. But honestly, all I know is that I’m happy with you. Like really fucking happy because you don’t give a fuck. You don’t give a fuck what I do or say because you accept me exactly for who I am, flaws and imperfections. You never once tried to change me, but only to support me in everything I do even when I make mistakes, even hurtful ones. I don’t think I ever saw you as a ‘boyfriend’ due to fact I don’t believe in titles. I hate titles. I don’t understand the point of why people have a need to label/categorize everything in life. You can’t even begin to label what we have, what type of relationship we have. All I know is that what we have a mutual understanding between us and that’s all it really matters.
Scatter thoughts and all, I hope you know I do care, even if half the time - I act like I don’t give a shit. But I do give a shit, I do give a fuck and that’s why I’m here trying. And all I can promise you is that I’ll try to meet you halfway.
I actually went to the LUSH store yesterday with JT. I bought Angels on Bare Skin and Coal Face. I tried the Angels on Bare Skin last night and it does feel much better than using Kiehl’s face wash. I’ll give it another week or two to see if there’s any difference. I can’t make too much of a judgement considering I haven’t even used it more than a day. hah.
Then, I went to sbux and got an iced grande caramel mochiatto. Then JT spiked it with couple shots of kahlua in it. It’s fucking delicious. hah. I felt like I was in high school, again but whatevs. I think I’ll do it more often now because it seriously adds a good flavor to my coffee. Then we walked to the movie theatre to catch a movie. And the movie actually turned out pretty good. I didn’t have much expectations for the movie but it definitely was worth watching. Then we coffee and snowed it up last night. Then played little big planet 2 and COD until 4am. Just another typical friday night….
Why am I so lazy?! For the last several days, I didn’t do shit. I didn’t go out at all. I lied, I went to the store and my parents’ place. I think the idea is that since I don’t have to work, I don’t have to deal with traffic and idiotic drivers. But at least by NOT going out, I saved a lot of money this weekend. hah.
Anyhoo, I watched “The Town,” which I didn’t know was directed by Ben Affleck. The movie was pretty entertaining and well written considering I actually stayed up until 4am watching it. I usually pass out by 1 or 2am if I’m watching a movie. I can never stay up if I’m not surrounded by loud noises and alcohol. hah. Anyway, tonight I’m going to watch Despicable me. I watched a little bit of last night and I kinda adore Vector because he’s so goofy and the voice is Jason Segel (sp?). I’m going to make kettle popcorn, yum. :)
Honestly, I really wanted to go to LUSH this weekend so I could buy one of their cleansers. But I failed and it probably won’t happen until next Friday. I have so much errands to do.. and I’m going to wait until Friday to do it. Even though I’ve been off since Thursday.
My life is oh-so-boring and I love it.
It’s freeeeezing here. I hope it doesn’t snow this weekend… but snow during the weekday(s), so I can get paid for not going to work. ahahaha.
Anyways, I’m going to make chicken alfredo pasta for dinner ; chocolate nutella cupcakes for desert and going to netflix tonight with JT. Going to end up watching The Exorcism. :)
So much has happened to me this year and I love every part of it (good or bad).
- Officially a working girl since I’ve graduated.
- Thankful for the boy to EAS and to come home.
- Thankful for my grandparents’ health!
- Thankful for my family.
- Pretty much all around stopped drinking/smoking so much.
- Drinking + Smoking doesn’t do it for me anymore.
- Getting back into what inspires me and focusing my life long goals.
This year, I am truly thankful that the boy EAS and is now finally pursuing his dreams. I support him through every decision he makes. A part of me will always miss San Diego and his old life. But I wouldn’t want it any other way but to have him home safe and sound. I told myself in the beginning of 2010 that this was going to be my year. It has been my year, so many great things have happened to me this year. I’m actually kind of sad to see it end, but I know that there will be better and greater things that will happen in 2011. I’ve learned more about myself and I am still trying to change myself for the better. I’m realizing things that I never knew about myself. And in 2011, I’ll be 25.
Anyway, cheeeeers to 2011. :)
I’m not exactly feeling very christmasy this year. Maybe because I’ve been working so it’s hard to get myself into the holiday mood. I hate going to the mall and I haven’t even gone to downtown this year. Also, my Mom is going to fly down to California to spend the holidays with my grandparents. Anyways, I’m sure this is all going to change within this week. I don’t think I’ve EVER been this broke due to buying so many christmas gifts for my loves, but it’s all worth it in the end.
Here’s my Christmas Wishlist - (I’m super late on this one)
iHOME alarm/radio/itouch
mouse for my macbook
black racerbacks
black boots
That’s about it. I think it’s because I pretty much have everything I ever wanted. :)
